dognovel Chapter 74 I'm still here
Chapter 74 I'm still here
……
I feel like my whole body is about to shatter.
It hurts……
It hurts... it hurts so much...
How can it hurt so much?!
Shouldn't I be numb to pain by now...? How can it still hurt so much?!
Where is he now?
The endless pain robbed him of his ability to perceive his surroundings; his body seemed bound by invisible shackles, unable to move. Yet, he still struggled unwillingly, yearning for even the slightest resistance.
It hurts so much... Can he cry for a moment...?
Let him vent, just for a moment.
Don't cry about it.
What you bear is not yet fully repaid.
……
Clenching his teeth, enduring the indescribable pain, he stubbornly squatted in the corner of the space, head bowed, silently bearing his suffering.
But what exactly is he carrying that he has to endure all of this for...?
{read……}
{These things...shouldn't be your burden...}
He finally heard it… that familiar voice echoed in his ears like a distant memory. Slowly, he raised his head from between his knees, and what came into view were those golden eyes filled with endless sorrow.
"tide……"
It didn't seem to be the person he knew... but the other person seemed to know him better than that person.
His face was gently cupped in the other person's hands, and he immediately felt a warm touch on his forehead. He could even clearly hear the person's slightly rapid breathing, echoing quietly in the still air.
"Chao... what exactly am I carrying that makes me have to go through all this..."
"I feel like each of you is hiding something from me... you don't want me to know the truth..."
"But I want to know... I'm really in so much pain..."
"I'd rather be pierced by the truth than be deceived and tormented like this..."
"Let me accept all of this."
Let me end all of this.
The next moment, he was pulled into a tight embrace, the other person burying their head deep in his neck, as if afraid he would vanish in an instant, holding him tightly, almost greedily, as if letting go would mean eternal loss:
This scenario has happened countless times.
Don't rush to awaken those memories.
Don't bear those burdens alone before your destined moment arrives.
{Your world deserves a sun}
Your pain, your joys and sorrows along the way, are no longer borne alone.
Please... let yourself go.
"..."
He looked like he was crying.
She trembled uncontrollably. She knew she shouldn't cry, but even with all her might, it was ultimately futile. It was as if long-suppressed emotions had finally found an outlet; she gripped the other person's sleeve tightly, head bowed, letting her vulnerability spill out.
At least for this moment, all he could hear was the sound of his own heartbeat still beating.
Now you know to care about him...
Only he himself knows what he went through along the way...
That person, whose tears are so delicate, has shouldered so many responsibilities that weren't his because of you...
[…Never mind, he's still here, I don't want to say anything harsh.]
In his hazy state, he vaguely sensed another figure. Slowly lifting his heavy eyelids, he looked at the person.
Although the other person's face was hidden under the hood, he could clearly feel that the gaze had never left him from beginning to end.
It was a wonderful and subtle feeling, as if he and the other person had known each other from the very beginning, and that their life trajectories had long been intertwined in the tapestry of fate.
Like two sides of the same coin, destined from birth to be together forever.
In that instant of realization, I looked up and saw once again the eye marked with the clock.
The resonance occurred in an instant; he felt his consciousness blur for a moment, and then he could see nothing at all.
{*＃*！Why can't you just try to let him off the hook for a second…}
Who's really holding a grudge?! If it weren't for that kid's vow, I would have turned this world upside down long ago... I wouldn't need to worry about you guys...
[Wanting him to live couldn't be simpler... he just won't allow it...]
【I now hold the reins... even you can only obediently play along with me...】
{you……}
[Look, you're getting anxious again... You think you can get rid of me just because you have a little control...]
I don't even want to think about what that person might do after they kill me...
--------
"System...it hurts so much..."
"Why does it hurt so much... What kind of buff was applied...?"
His consciousness gradually returned, but waves of real pain surged through his body, making it impossible for him to ignore.
Everything that had just happened seemed to be erased, the memory hazy, with only the vaguely familiar encounter lingering in his mind. Then, pain swept over him like a tidal wave, overwhelming all his senses.
"……Well"
"The host still has the energy to chat with me... then it seems your will is quite strong..."
"Without further ado……"
The blue panel in his mind looked a little awkward, and slowly displayed a number—1.
"...?"
"It's just that the effects on various senses have increased several times over..."
"It doesn't seem like it's only a few times more..."
The pain that almost made him cry was something no one would believe was only a few times worse!
Struggling, he raised his head, looked at the numbers on the panel, and tentatively opened his mouth.
"ten times?"
"……no"
"Fifty?"
"Neither"
"They gave me a hundredfold increase?!"
“Not yet”
"?"
He watched the numbers on the panel jump around, one zero after another, then two zeros... and then a third zero.
"Look! The grand prize—a thousand times the initial investment!"
"..."
What a humorous system! That sentence almost made him laugh out loud.
If he weren't completely immobilized, he would have slapped the system a few times to teach it a lesson!
He was saying how much pain he was in, how he almost missed crucial moments on the battlefield because of it… Turns out, it was a thousand times worse!
The blue panel seemed to realize that this behavior wasn't funny, and with a faint glow, it continued to explain.
"Actually, it's not just about pain~"
"In some ways, it can be considered a positive buff."
"It amplifies your perception more than a thousandfold, enhancing your ability to perceive everything."
"?"
"For example: what might seem like just the right amount of coolness to others could be a bone-chilling cold to the host, a very, very cold feeling."
"But correspondingly, you can perceive more minute details, which of course requires you to be able to tolerate all the consequences that come with your perception."
"..."
The system wanted to explain further, but then found itself blocked again.
"..."
Mo Wunian didn't want to listen to a single word anymore; it was all just a load of nonsense, a waste of his time.
To be honest, the system didn't seem to be lying to him after all; the ability to double his perception was indeed very useful, although it also brought him some things he didn't want to perceive.
Never mind, I'll just have to bear with it.
"...Damn, it still hurts!"
What the hell are you going to tolerate?! What's going on here? Is anyone even here? Can't you just let him call out?!
Unfortunately, he seemed to have forgotten that he was completely unable to move. Trying to perceive his surroundings, he realized he was supposed to be lying in bed, and struggled again, only to find he couldn't even move his lips.
"..."
He wanted to completely give up, but when he recovered, he unexpectedly sensed the presence of two other people again.
"Ji Yan... have you seen his condition clearly now...?"
"As a military doctor... you don't even have the courage to pick up a scalpel anymore..."
"You really are a failure as his student..."
Holy crap! This opening ceremony was a disaster!
Geshulin, although I am very grateful to you for saving me, what are you saying to my student?!
"..."
"Silence...?"
"Tell me about the dangers of fire!"
Are you going to respond with silence to the lives we bear on our shoulders?!
"That person risked everything to pave the way for everyone... and you, as his student, could only cower in the back and receive his protection..."
"He's betting his future on you... It's a losing proposition for him..."
No! Geshu, please stop! Leave my already insecure student alone!
This isn't over yet! What makes you think I'm going to lose?! Although I've never really won at gambling, I'm guaranteed to win this time!
Mo Wunian was almost frantic! He could practically sense the state of the person sitting beside his bed without even realizing it.
Oh dear, the overflowing sadness and despair are driving him crazy!
You shut up! You always insist on talking when I tell you not to, but now that it's your turn, why can't you say a word?
Please, buddy, just do something!
Helplessness. Rage. Infuriating. Thoughts.
While someone lay in a hospital bed, seething with impotent rage, the standoff between the two on the other side was about to end.
Ge Shulin stood to one side, head bowed, his gaze fixed on Ji Yan, who sat in a chair, his eyes filled with disdain.
Ji Yan remained silent for a long time, his silence forming an invisible barrier that made the atmosphere in the room increasingly heavy.
"General Geshu..."
"Ji Yan, I will give him another chance after he wakes up."
"You can use any means necessary to keep that person tied to you..."
I won't stop you.
"That is, you still have the nerve to face him."
Ge Shulin couldn't care less about all that. After all, he had disrupted his plans to come here to provide support, and now he had to rush back to deal with the remnants of this battle.
He crossed his arms and walked out of the ward without looking back, leaving only Ji Yan behind to stay by his side.
"..."
The room was so quiet it felt like the air itself had frozen, save for the rhythmic beeping of the heart monitor. I turned to look at the thin, slightly pulsating line on the monitor, then lowered my gaze again to the person still fast asleep on the bed. Several times I reached out to touch them, but hesitated, then withdrew my hand mid-air.
"...Mo Wunian"
No response
Because that person can no longer respond to him.
Because that person has fallen into a deep sleep, and it's unknown when they will wake up.
"..."
"I'm sorry... I'm really... I'm sorry..."
"I really am... the one who held you back..."
"...When you were brought here...I, as a military doctor, was so weak that I couldn't even hold a scalpel anymore..."
"My hands are shaking... I can't even hold them properly..."
I can't catch it.
When he witnessed the man in General Geshu's arms rushing in, enveloped in blood and pain, his heart felt as if it were being violently clenched—almost no part of the man's body was intact, his bones were clearly visible, and blood had almost soaked through every inch of his skin…
At that moment, he felt the light willow-leaf knife in his hand suddenly become unusually heavy. Even though he tried his best to steady it, he could still clearly feel the uncontrollable trembling in his hand.
He couldn't catch it.
Someone who can't even hold a scalpel properly is incapable of participating in surgery.
He could only watch helplessly as the others wheeled the person into the operating room, while he could only wait behind the door for everything to happen.
How could he be injured so badly...? His previous injuries haven't even healed yet...
Even if he survives such an injury, he'll probably never be able to go to the battlefield again...
The nerve damage is also severe... I'm afraid he might wake up...
He stood in the center of the crowd, listening to the whispers around him, powerless to do anything.
That's right... the scars on that person's body never faded. Even in that critical situation, he still couldn't persuade the other person to give up, and ultimately acquiesced to that near-self-destructive choice...
In the end, nothing changed.
"...I don't think I'm worthy to call you teacher anymore."
"I've really disappointed you... disappointed you..."
"Someone like you... really shouldn't be tied down by me."
We shouldn't stop here. Stay with me, this coward who only dares to confide in you when you're asleep.
He lowered his head, closed his eyes tightly, and dared not look at the person on the hospital bed who had been unconscious for two days and one night.
He was more afraid than anyone that person would never wake up again.
"Mo Wunian... please don't refuse General Geshu's invitation this time because of me..."
"Let yourself off the hook."
"If you really never wake up again..."
"If someone like you really never wakes up..."
So what should he do next?
Death should not be the other person's final destination.
There are already many people in this world who are willing to remember him and light a lamp for him.
Please don't...give up on yourself.
"Please...don't die."
Practicing martial arts can't protect the people I want to protect; studying medicine only allows me to watch the person I care about, yet I don't even have the courage to pick up a knife...
"I really am..."
I can't do anything.
"..."
But before he could finish speaking, he felt a gentle grasp on his hand beside the bed. He opened his eyes abruptly, and there before him were a pair of pleading eyes staring directly at him.
That's not true, you've never let me down.
You are a very, very good child, you have done your best.
You've worked so hard at those things, how could you not deserve it!
Don't deny yourself, you deserve it!
Ji Yan watched as the person in front of him struggled to turn over, inching closer to him. The trembling hand gripped his hand tightly, slowly but firmly guiding it towards his chest.
Even through the blanket, he could still feel the subtle vibrations transmitted by the beating of the heart. The rhythm, though faint, was continuous—resonating with his own heartbeat, intertwining with it.
"...Avoid flames"
I'm still here.
Can you feel it? My heart is still beating.
I'm still alive, I'm still by your side.
I will still be your teacher, until that destined moment arrives...
I will walk with you forever.