dognovel Chapter 523: The Emperor and His Ministers of Shu Han Jump into the River?
Chapter 523: The Emperor and His Ministers of Shu Han Jump into the River?
On the upper reaches of the Yangtze River, countless rafts made of giant logs are being maneuvered downstream by soldiers.
Hundreds of rafts, like a large army arrayed to meet the enemy, advanced rapidly on the river in formation, with a large flag bearing the character "Guan" planted on the raft in the very center of the formation.
In front of the banner was a small square table embedded inside the bamboo raft. On the table were various wild vegetables such as bamboo shoots and mushrooms, as well as thinly sliced fresh meat taken from some animal. In the middle of the meat was a hot pot with soup boiling inside. Guan Xing, Zhang Bao, and Jiang Wei were eating around the square table, their mouths full of oil.
This trip was truly fruitful. Wushan is still a primeval forest that has not been harmed by humans. The mountains are full of precious timber that is as thick as several people can hug, as well as rare animals that have been listed as protected species by later generations. As long as you go into the mountains, you will not have to worry about food.
But in the days before cell phones, the journey home was incredibly boring. Now that it was peacetime and there was no need to follow battlefield discipline, Guan Xing set up a hot pot on the bamboo raft and ate hot pot and drank some wine on the Yangtze River. When he was in high spirits, he would hum a few tunes. He lived a very pleasant life.
He was pleased, but Zhang Bao was annoyed and said irritably, "Stop howling and drink. Don't try to get away with singing to avoid drinking here."
Having drunk all the way, Guan Xing was indeed quite drunk, but unwilling to lose to Zhang Bao, he loosened his belt, downed the wine in his bamboo cup in one gulp, picked up the wooden dice, and said, "Continue..."
There are no brothers at drinking parties. Neither of them would give in, and they drank one cup after another until they were both completely drunk. Guan Xing couldn't take it anymore, so he pressed down on the table, stood up, and said, "I'm going to take a piss."
After saying that, he got up and walked to the bamboo raft, and began to release water into the river. As he did so, he couldn't help but sing: "Honghu Lake... Hey, what's that figure on the river? That red-faced one looks so much like my father. Am I seeing things?"
Upon hearing this, Zhang Bao got up and stumbled over, instinctively putting his arm around Guan Xing's shoulder. Because he didn't control his strength well, he almost pushed Guan Xing into the river.
Zhang Bao, seemingly oblivious, said, "If it's not like your dad, then it's definitely your dad. Why is my dad here too? My uncle seems to be here too. It's just logging; do they really need to come all this way to welcome us?"
Guan Xing said, "Never mind, let's get ashore first. Boyue, send a signal to tell the brothers to speed up."
The raft team sped up and soon arrived at the ferry dock. Guan Xing and Zhang Bao, both drunk and swaying on the rafts with their arms around each other, waved and said, "Uncle, strategist, why did you come all the way to Jinxiang Ferry to pick us up? Are you in such a hurry to build a city and houses?"
Liu Bei and Zhuge Liang's facial muscles twitched uncontrollably at the same time, and they felt a surge of inexplicable anger. Who came to pick them up? They're too self-important, aren't they?
Guan Yu and Zhang Fei were furious, wishing they could rush onto the raft right now and kick these two disgraceful bastards into the river. What were they doing drinking in broad daylight?
Zhang Zhaoshixie and the others all looked at Liu Bei, Guan Yu, Zhang Fei, Zhuge Liang and the others with strange expressions, as if asking, "Is this the junior you have taught?"
The strange looks from the crowd made Liu Bei, Guan Yu, and the other two irritated. Liu Bei said unhappily, "What are you dawdling for? Hurry up and get ashore."
"Oh, oh..." Guan Xing and Zhang Bao took steps at the same time, but due to their uncoordinated steps, they made a mistake. Zhang Bao's leg touched Guan Xing's knee and wrist, pushing the unsteady Guan Xing into the river. As Guan Xing fell into the river, he instinctively reached out to grab the bamboo raft, but ended up grabbing Zhang Bao's trouser leg, mercilessly pulling Zhang Bao down with him.
Liu Bei, Shi Xie, and the others, who were standing at a distance waiting for the two to come ashore, were all stunned by this misunderstanding and opened their mouths wide. After a moment of stunned silence, Liu Bei was the first to react and shouted at the top of his lungs, "What are you all standing there for? Hurry up and save them! They've had too much to drink!"
After saying that, he lifted his clothes and ran over first, looking ready to jump into the river to save people. Seeing this, the others dared not stop and all ran after him.
The leaders went to rescue people while they stood on the shore. How could the leaders not make things difficult for you afterwards?
Having navigated the treacherous waters of officialdom for many years, these seasoned veterans, knowing that attitude is more important than ability, followed in Liu Bei's footsteps, secretly resolving that even if they couldn't save anyone, they would at least jump into the Yangtze River for a bath, thereby keeping in sync with their superiors.
Meanwhile, Jiang Wei was also quite drunk. When he saw Guan Xing and Zhang Bao fall into the water, he was completely dazed. It wasn't until Liu Bei shouted that he snapped back to his senses. Without thinking, he took a running start and leaped into the river. Only after his feet left the bamboo raft mid-air did he suddenly remember something and shouted in panic, "Oh no, I can't swim!"
He was a landlubber from Liangzhou, unlike the water spirits who grew up by the Yangtze River. If he jumped into the river, he wouldn't be able to save anyone; instead, he would become the one who needed to be saved. Wouldn't that just cause trouble?
But now my feet are off the ground and I can't pull them back in. What should I do?
Fortunately, there were many soldiers on the raft, and most of them had participated in the Nanzhang River swimming competition. The moment they heard Liu Bei's roar, they jumped into the river and dragged the three drunkards to the shore before Liu Bei could jump in.
At this moment, Liu Bei also arrived at the shore. He quickly bent down and used both hands to grab Guan Xing and Zhang Bao by the collar and pulled them ashore. Then he also pulled Jiang Wei up.
The three drunkards, whose stomachs were already full of alcohol and then had swallowed a mouthful of Yangtze River water, could no longer hold back. As soon as they got ashore, they began to vomit violently, throwing up all the hotpot they had eaten on the river. The old men watching this all backed away in disgust and pinched their noses. Guan Yu and Zhang Fei, the two elders, were so angry that their faces were darker than dark clouds. They wanted to go up and beat them up, but they forcibly restrained themselves because of the number of people.
These two unfilial sons are such a disgrace! You've completely disgraced me! Just you wait until we get home, I'll beat you to death!
After vomiting, the three drunkards who had been pulled from the water felt much better. They helped each other to their feet and bowed, saying, "Uncle."
Enraged, Liu Bei kicked each of them and said, "Let's go home."
After saying that, he grabbed his two nephews' wrists and was about to leave when he turned around and heard Shi Xie exclaim in an extremely shocked tone: "Heavens, I'm not seeing things, am I? That really is golden nanmu wood. Judging from the grain, it must be over a thousand years old. This is an excellent material for making coffins."
Shi Xie is already eighty-five years old. At this age, he should have been thinking about what happens after he dies. Therefore, Shi Xie is now much more interested in coffins than palaces. For him, palaces are just temporary residences, while coffins are his eternal home.
Although his family had already prepared a coffin for him, now that he had such fine Phoebe zhennan wood, he naturally didn't mind getting himself an even better one.
Including Liu Bei, Guan Yu, and Zhang Fei, most of the people present were over forty years old, with one foot in the grave. They had a strong need for coffins, and upon hearing this, they all ran to the shore to carefully examine the raft. Even Zhuge Liang went over.
Upon seeing the rafts clearly, greed gleamed in everyone's eyes. These bamboo rafts were incredibly valuable, almost entirely made of top-quality materials like yew and golden nanmu. Taking them home would make them rich.
Liu Bei was the first to step onto the bamboo raft and squat down to look at it. The others quickly followed, surrounding Liu Bei and commenting on the timber, their tone as excited as if the rafts were his own.
However, some people didn't join in the fun. Zhang Fei wasn't interested in it. He stepped onto the raft, glanced around, and instinctively went over to sit down at the small square table where Guan Xing and Zhang Bao were drinking. Looking at the meat on the table and the soup in the pot, he asked, "How can we eat all this raw?"
The soldier beside him replied, "Just put it in the pot and cook it. General, please look, there's a fire in the middle of the pot."
As he spoke, he casually removed the bowl covering the middle of the hot pot, and Zhang Fei then discovered that the pillar in the middle of the hot pot was hollow and filled with burning charcoal. "So that's how the soup boiled on its own when there was no fire," he said.
Zhang Fei dumped all the leftover meat on the table into the pot, cooked it for a while until the soup boiled, then picked it up with chopsticks and put it in his mouth. After just one bite, his eyes widened and he exclaimed excitedly, "Big brother, second brother, come and try it! This meat is fucking delicious..."