dognovel Ch. 64 - Middlemen Don't Take Profits—They Spin Hula Hoops?
Ch. 64 - Middlemen Don't Take Profits—They Spin Hula Hoops?
Li Hua's head was spinning, his limited brain capacity completely unable to process what was happening.But pure instinct kept him running.
To any passerby, they looked like three fitness enthusiasts out for a jog.
Soon, Li Hua was gasping for breath, his stamina clearly running out.
"Please, big brothers! I messed up, I really know I messed up!"
Chen Shu and Zhang Dali kept stone-cold expressions, having transformed into ruthless running machines.
The three of them running together became quite the spectacle on the street.
As they ran farther away, the people around them no longer realized Li Hua was a thief and started commenting.
"Are they chasing the sun?¹ How inspiring to see such energetic young people!"
"Yeah, unlike my lazy kid who's still in bed!"
"Keep going! Keep going!"
Some pedestrians even started clapping and cheering them on...
The whole situation was getting increasingly twisted... uh... warped...
"Masters! Two masters! Please spare me! I really can't go on—I'll start foaming at the mouth if we keep running!"
Li Hua was practically in tears. At this point, he'd rather be arrested than keep running.
But Chen Shu was thinking: Why the hell hasn't this system given me my reward yet?
When he heard the thief complaining, he got irritated.
No reward yet, and you're already saying you won't run?
Chen Shu grabbed his right arm while Zhang Dali grabbed the left.
"If running won't kill you, then we'll run you to death!"
The two forcibly dragged Li Hua along...
Under the morning sun, all three were bathed in golden light, looking like determined young people chasing their dreams down the street.
After thirty minutes of running,
Li Hua's face had gone completely pale, his eyes barely staying open, occasionally twitching like he might collapse any second...
"New blueprint unlocked: Burst Speed Potion!"
Chen Shu finally relaxed. Even with their good conditioning, both guys were tired from dragging dead weight the whole time.
The moment they let go, Li Hua crumpled to the ground.
He lay there gasping at the blue sky, feeling nothing but sweet relief.
Chen Shu said, "Dali, watch him. Go grab three bottles of water."
"Boss, what did I even do to you guys? I'll change, I swear I'll change!" Li Hua wheezed.
Chen Shu crouched down, looked at Li Hua, and said, "Quit whining. I'll ask you one question. Get it right and you're free."
"A question?"
Li Hua perked up. Could he actually get out of this?
"Tell me—where lies the road ahead?"²
"???" Li Hua stared blankly. Are you seriously nuts? What kind of question is that?
"Don't know?"
Chen Shu made a fist, eyes narrowing. "Hey buddy, see this? Ever been hit by a fist this big?"
Li Hua gulped and tried answering: "The road... lies... beneath... our feet~~~"³
SMACK!
Chen Shu nailed him right in the left eye.
"You actually sang it?! What am I, your karaoke partner?"
"Boss, I really screwed up." Actual tears appeared in Li Hua's eyes—Chen Shu had tortured him enough.
"Good, looks like you get it now. Even crying tears of regret!"
Chen Shu nodded, then asked, "Turn left at that intersection up ahead—what's the first building?"
Li Hua's eyes darted around. He knew this area like the back of his hand—had to, for his line of work.
He said miserably, "Nanjiang City Police Station..."
"Bingo! You know what you need to do, right?"
Li Hua nodded. They were letting him go, but also... not really.
Don't answer and get beaten up, answer correctly and walk straight into the police station...
"With your build, why be a thief anyway? Go home and hit the gym, will you?"
Zhang Dali came back then, carrying bottles of Master Liu mineral water, and handed one to Li Hua.
"What's your name, by the way?"
"Li Hua."⁴
Chen Shu patted his shoulder. "When you get out, stick to writing letters to your foreign pen pals.⁵ Why waste your life stealing? Get a real job!"
What? Write letters to foreign pen pals? What foreign pen pals?
Li Hua was completely baffled—these two might as well be speaking alien for all the sense they were making.
"Off you go!"
Chen Shu and Zhang Dali watched with satisfied grins as Li Hua trudged into the police station.
"That guy's a thief, by the way. Check the surveillance at Xiafei Road intersection."
Chen Shu told the officer at the front, just to make sure the guy couldn't pull any fast ones.
Hiding their merits and fame,⁶ the two walked away.
...
Ten minutes later, they reached Nanjiang City's Beast Tamer Association.
Chen Shu headed straight for the mission board and started browsing the available tasks.
【Mission Name】: Tutor soon-to-be senior high student
【Mission Difficulty】: None【Mission Content】: Son is about to enter senior year, hoping for a beast taming university student to provide tutoring【Mission Requirements】: Current student or graduate of a prestigious beast taming university
...
【Mission Name】: Beast Taming Dojo Sparring Partner
【Mission Name】: Exterminate Mutant Rat Swarm
Going through task after task, Chen Shu found it all pretty interesting—this was his first time at Nanjiang City's Beast Tamer Association.
Most missions had no difficulty rating and were basically community service jobs.
Totally different from Qingyuan Town's setup. That place backed right up to Qingyuan Forest, so everything was forest-related.
Urban monster hunting was pretty rare too. Like that rat job—danger level was just "ordinary."
Way back when, fierce beasts had invaded Blue Star and bred with local animals, leaving behind mutant offspring.
But those things barely qualified as monsters—even intern beast tamers could handle them.
Chen Shu quickly spotted the fake medicine dealer task.
【Mission Name】: Investigate Fake Medicine Dealer
【Mission Difficulty】: None【Mission Details】: Recently a fake medicine dealer has appeared in the black market, with amounts involved reaching tens of millions. Hope to apprehend quickly.Note: This mission is posted by the Spirit Suppression Bureau—no deposit required!【Mission Reward】: 100,000 yuan!【Mission Challenge】: The fake medicine dealer hasn't appeared for several days, extremely secretive, making it difficult to trace【Mission Tips】: 1. Photo of accomplice.jpg; 2. Can confirm the fake medicine dealer hasn't left Nanjiang City
Chen Shu looked over the mission details and accepted it.
The mission reward was 100,000 yuan, while Xie Sunan only charged 50,000. If the intelligence panned out, Chen Shu would essentially pocket 50,000 yuan for doing nothing.
*Middlemen don't take a cut—they spin hula hoops instead?*⁷
¹ "Are they chasing the sun?" (追赶太阳)
A reference to the ancient Chinese myth of Kuafu Chasing the Sun (夸父追日/夸父逐日) from the Classic of Mountains and Seas (山海经). In this myth, the giant Kuafu races to catch the sun, drinks the Yellow and Wei Rivers dry trying to quench his thirst, and ultimately dies of exhaustion. The idiom has come to represent ambitious pursuit of lofty ideals—or alternatively, overreaching beyond one's abilities. Here, the passerby uses it admiringly to describe energetic young people pursuing their dreams.
² "Tell me—where lies the road ahead?" (敢问路在何方)
³ "The road lies beneath our feet" (路在脚下)These are the iconic opening lines from "Where Lies the Road Ahead" (敢问路在何方), the legendary theme song from the 1986 TV series Journey to the West (西游记). Written by Yan Su and composed by Xu Jingqing, performed by Jiang Dawei, this song achieved 89.4% ratings and has been replayed over 3,000 times on Chinese television. The lyrics were inspired by Lu Xun's famous line: "There was no road to begin with; when enough people walk a path, it becomes a road."
The question-and-answer format ("Where lies the road? / The road lies beneath our feet") became one of the most recognizable phrases in Chinese pop culture, symbolizing perseverance and the spirit of forging one's own path. In 2024, the song was featured in the video game Black Myth: Wukong.
Chen Shu asks the question expecting a straightforward answer about directions, but Li Hua—recognizing the famous lyric—instinctively sings the response, complete with the melodic drawn-out delivery, which infuriates Chen Shu who wasn't looking for a karaoke performance.
⁴ "Li Hua" (李华)
⁵ "Writing letters to your foreign pen pals"This is a beloved meta-joke referencing China's standardized English exams. Since 1995, the Gaokao (college entrance exam) and countless practice tests have featured a recurring fictional character named "Li Hua" who constantly needs help writing letters to foreign pen pals. The prompt format is iconic:
"Suppose you are Li Hua, a student at Hongxing High School. Your foreign friend wants to know about... Please write them a letter including..."
Generations of Chinese students have spent their academic careers "helping Li Hua write letters." The character became so ubiquitous that he's essentially China's equivalent of "John Doe" for English education—a meme representing the artificial scenarios in language textbooks. When Chen Shu tells the thief named Li Hua to "go write letters to foreign friends," he's making a pun on the thief's name, essentially saying: "With a name like Li Hua, you should be writing English essays, not committing crimes!"
In January 2025, this meme came full circle when foreign users on Xiaohongshu (Chinese social media) discovered the Li Hua phenomenon and began posting video "replies" to all the letters Chinese students had written over the decades—finally giving "Li Hua" the responses he'd been waiting 30 years to receive.
⁶ "Hiding their merits and fame" (深藏功与名)
A variation of the classical phrase "事了拂衣去，深藏身与名" ("When the deed is done, brush off your sleeves and leave; hide yourself and your name") from Li Bai's poem "Song of the Gallant" (侠客行). The original poem celebrates ancient swordsmen who helped others without seeking recognition.
The internet-modified version "深藏功与名" (hiding merits and fame, rather than "body and name") became a viral meme in 2008, popularized by a writer on Maopu/Tianya forums who ended satirical posts with this phrase. It's now used both sincerely (for anonymous good deeds) and ironically (for pranks or minor mischief done without taking credit). The phrase captures the classic wuxia ideal of the humble hero who walks away after saving the day.
⁷ "Middlemen don't take a cut—they spin hula hoops instead?" (中间商不赚差价，转呼啦圈？)
This is a homophonic pun based on the famous advertising slogan from Guazi Used Cars: "没有中间商赚差价" ("No middleman taking the price difference"). Actor Sun Honglei promoted this slogan heavily starting in 2015, making it one of the most recognizable ad campaigns in China.
The joke works because:
Both characters are pronounced identically (zhuàn, 4th tone). So the punchline is:
Q: If the middleman doesn't earn (zhuàn) the price difference, what does he do?
A: He spins (zhuàn) a hula hoop!
There's also a satirical layer: investigations revealed that Guazi's "no middleman" claim was misleading—the platform itself charged service fees and allowed dealers to operate. So the joke implies: "You say you're not earning the difference? Then go spin a hula hoop, because we know that's nonsense."
In context, Chen Shu is noting that if he can earn 100,000 yuan from the mission while only paying 50,000 yuan for intelligence, he's essentially acting as the "middleman" and pocketing the difference—making the advertising slogan ironic.